Many kids in today’s world exhibit poor offensive behaviors but it may not be their fault. Find out where you’ve gone wrong as a parent and how to fix it. Also, if you’re considering having kids or you already do, you’ll find helpful tips here on what bad parenting behaviors you should avoid. With a little wisdom and action, you should have yourself a well-behaved kid.
1/15. Leave room for independence
Your kid should not be completely reliant on you. Homework? Daddy! I can’t find my shoes? Mummy! Allow some room for your child to be independent. A well-behaved kid should be resourceful and active. When you solve all the problems of your children, you’re not doing them good or cheering them on. Instead, you’re spoiling them silly.
2/15. Unconditional respect and obedience
From the onset you should instill in your kids the ability to obey and respect you or others without conditions. That means no bribery, no threatening, no time-outs. Give them respect and live exemplary for them to copy. For instance; if your kid needed to eat launch, you would prepare some food without a second thought. This respectful and dutiful act should be taught to them to understand. A well-behaved kid should know what his/her duties are and embrace it from the onset without much dialogue. Make them believe how much you trust and expect much from them and you’ll see that once it’s time to get to bed, they’ll immediately do it.
3/15. Leave room for risks and mistakes
It’s dangerous to always protect your kid from danger. By so doing, you’re not strengthening that kid but turning an otherwise well-behaved kid into a banana. Allow your kids to experience life, take risks, fall, make mistakes and learn therefrom. Some lessons can only be learned by acquiring experience because no matter how much you say this is bad, they must first test it out. A child’s finger must be burned to know that fire is not safe. More so, when you caution a few times and they experience them and realize that you were right the whole time, they’ll be more inclined to follow your advise the next time.
4/15. Learn to say NO!
By all means, do not be a yes man or a yes woman. It’s completely okay and acceptable to say no when necessary. A well-behaved kid doesn’t feel entitled. By saying no, you’re teaching your kid to deal with disappointment and rejection. More so, they’re learning to be okay with it and move on otherwise you’re raising future alcoholics, and drug addicts. Another benefit of this is; your kid will learn to persist if he really wants something and will also learn what priorities are as well as how to do without.
5/15. Have a face-to-face disciplinary session
When your kid misbehaves, the first reaction would be yelling from a distance or instant rebuke. However, those instructions are easily forgotten and they end up repeating the same mistakes. One thing you can do is call in your kid in private and have a face-to-face talk. During this talk, recount mistakes and spell out everything you want your child be take note of as well as what not to repeat. By so doing, you’re exemplifying respect while also raising a well-behaved kid.
6/15. Just enough esteem
One feature of a poorly behaved kid is that they tend to be meaner to other kids. This may probably be because they don’t have enough love from their parents. Try not to be belittling to your kids or to use demeaning words. Ensure to be compassionate and kind to your kids using kind words in correction as well as speech and never make comparisons. More so, always tell your kids how awesome they are and that they can do anything they put their minds to. This will help any well-behaved kid to be confident and to never give up in the face of opposition.
7/15. Less and less yelling
Every parent yells and for most, it’s become part of their relationship with their kids. You should note today that yelling can not always solve your problem. More so, when you yell a lot, it becomes ineffective because everyone is used to it. Use your words, say what you expect from them – don’t assume they already know. Remember, they’re still children, learning and growing and haven’t completely discovered right and wrong behaviors.
8/15. Let them follow a routine
Your kids should not live a carefree life – just following the wind. Put them on a time table and make sure you never deviate. They should know when it’s time to do a particular thing including going to bed and waking up. This is because if they did it a certain way yesterday and you’re demanding they do it differently today, they’ll get confused, be unwilling to obey, will begin negotiating and will most likely throw tantrums. Without a routine, it’s difficult to maintain set rules or to even do most things advised here. However, it should be okay to allow the weekends free of routine where your well-behaved kid can enjoy a little freedom and recoup for the following week’s time table.
9/15. Unnecessary defense
It’s important to correct children when they make mistakes and it’s also great to defend your children where necessary. However, don’t take their side all the time out of pride or competition with other parents. When a matter is reported to you, try to find out the truth from both sides before you jump to senseless defenses. By so doing, your child knows you’re a rational person and will not support wrongdoing. More so, such kid will know never to tell a lie or cast unnecessary blame knowing you’ll investigate to get to the bottom of things before acting.
10/15. Focus on important values
Many parents worry about chores and household discipline and forget to instill values such as kindness, compassion and respect for others. Therefore, while you may frown over the mess your child made in his/her room, you should not at all tolerate any act of disrespect for a neighbor by your kid. Prioritize on more important values and from the onset, your child should know they’re a must. Be futuristic in your discipline and think of your kid as a future well-refined adult. Because, at the end of it all, these are the values that will sustain a well-behaved kid in society.
11/15. Patiently explain
While long and elaborate explanations are not necessary, it may still be necessary to give reasons why you expect certain behaviors. Failure of this will cause your child to see you as a dictator. So they’re not really respecting you but just doing what you say for no good reason. More so, they’re not growing up well-behaved, just counting the days till you can’t tell them what to do anymore. It’s important for kids to have understand because it causes them to accept your rules as good for them and act accordingly.
12/15. Let them hate you shortly
Don’t be a love-monging parent. Be at peace with the fact that your kids may hate you occasionally but this is always short lived. As earlier said, think and be futuristic in your parenting. A well-behaved kid does not always have it easy. It’s okay when they frown at you, they’ll eventually appreciate everything you do for them. In the meantime, do your part and keep having face-to-face heart-to-heart sessions.
13/15. Teach them contentment
Best way to start is to limit toys. Like how many can a kid possibly have? They should learn to be content with little and not be excessive with material possession. Failure of this will cause your kid to make foolish and costly financial decisions in the future. Let them start young in practicing care and minimalism. A kid with one doll for example – is more conscious, aware, meticulous and will give better care than a kid that has multiple toys. You decide which falls into the well-behaved kid category.
14/15. Allow them ease into actions
I’ll go straight into an example with this one. When you tell your kid “dinner will be ready in 5 minutes”, it gives them time to prepare mentally to immediately obey the next instruction “dinner is ready”. However, when you just come in anytime giving instructions you want followed instantly, you’re causing agitation for that kid. When you do this often, your kid will even be more inclined to respond in situations requiring instant action. This is because you have by so doing, effectively taught your kid to know how to differentiate between regular and emergency situations.
15/15. Be good to your kids
Too much of everything is toxic. Learn to apply a healthy balance in every approach. Don’t be too focused on fixing and correcting errors that you forget to commend the one million things your child did right in a day. Compliments like ‘that’s nicely done’, ‘good job on how you greeted everyone we met today’, ‘thank you, you’re so thoughtful’, ‘that’s so helpful’, ‘thanks for being patient with your little sister last night’. More so, remember to be rewarding and generous. Afterall, they’re just still kids and require lots of love.
Sources
Kids Health – Nine Steps to More Effective Parenting
Very well family – 6 Ways to Discipline Kids Without Yelling
WebMD – 8 Mistakes Parents Make With Preschoolers
Child Mind Institute – Managing Problem Behavior at Home
Money Crashers – How to Avoid Raising Spoiled Kids – Signs of Entitled Behavior
Thrive Global – 7 Damaging Parenting Behaviors That Keep Children From Growing into Leaders
Parents – The Surprising Secret to Raising a Well-Behaved Kid
Fox News – 10 strategies to avoid raising a spoiled brat
Health Buzz – Top 8 Behaviors to Avoid When Raising Your Kids